


Ghost of the Past

by HaruhiSenju



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Accident, Angst, Drinking, F/M, Sawamura Daichi/reader - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-05
Updated: 2020-11-05
Packaged: 2021-03-08 20:53:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,242
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27403072
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HaruhiSenju/pseuds/HaruhiSenju
Summary: This is a story of how y/n found out and reacted to Daichi’s special past. The feelings she had when she found out, the emotions she felt as it sank in, and the realizations that dawned on her all wrapped into one.Preview:"Sugawara-san. Please tell me. Is she an ex that Daichi is still in love with?" y/n's voice was already shaking at this point."Y/n-chan. Tha- that's- it's a yes but also a no." Sugawara breathed out."What do you mean?" y/n got even more nervous now."Y/n Takahashi is Daichi's first love. She was stabbed to death by a robber and died 5 years ago." Sugawara said in a soft voice. He really didn't want to be the one to tell y/n, but he didn't want to lie to her too.Y/n only stood there with the phone against her ear. She was rendered speechless by the piece of information that she has just learned. She thought that the pain she was feeling couldn't get anymore worse. But right now, she feels like her heart's being continuously stabbed and being ripped apart.
Relationships: Sawamura Daichi/Reader
Kudos: 11
Collections: Haikyuu Angst Week 2020





	Ghost of the Past

It was a beautiful afternoon and y/n is planning on giving her boyfriend a surprise visit. She wanted to try this new dessert shop near his house, so she thought it was best to go to his place first before convincing him to accompany her. This way, Daichi will not be able to say no. He's been looking sad lately. At first y/n thought that he's just not in a good mood, maybe something happened at work or in school, but she noticed that he's been like this for the past two weeks. There must be something wrong, so she plans on finding out whatever it was that's giving her boyfriend a hard time. 

*at the Sawamura residences*

"Hi mom, is Daichi in?" y/n greeted the beautiful lady who opened the door for her. 

"Oh! Y/n! It's you! I'm glad you're here. You should stay for dinner. I will prepare your favorite food for you." Daichi's mom hugged y/n. She approves of their relationship and is looking forward to having y/n as her future daughter-in-law.

"Really? Thanks mom! But I'm dragging Daichi out first to try the new dessert shop nearby." y/n was grateful. She loved Daichi's mom's cooking.

"Oh! I've been to their shop. All their pastries look delicious."

"I saw the pictures on the internet too. Don't worry mom, I'll bring home a cake for you later." Y/n beamed.

"Daichi is in his room. You can go directly upstairs."

*in Daichi's room*

"It's almost your death anniversary again." Daichi whispered to himself as he stared longingly at the scrapbook on his table.

"Hey Babe! What are you doing?" y/n smiled as she opened the door to Daichi's room.

Daichi was surprised to hear y/n's voice. He didn't expect her to come so he was taken off-guard and quickly closed the scrapbook and tried to hide it from y/n's view. 

Y/n who was standing by the door noticed that Daichi was trying to hide something, she was about to ask him about it when he spoke.

"Y/n, you should knock first before you enter someone else's room you know." Daichi scolded lightly.

"But I did. I knocked three times before I opened the door. You were too engrossed with whatever it was that you were reading that you probably didn't hear me knock." y/n frowned. She got even more worried. She thought Daichi must still be struggling and thinking deeply about his problem for him not to hear the loud knocks.

Daichi felt guilty at this time. His mind was indeed preoccupied. Seeing y/n frown made his heart ache. He didn't like seeing her sad. So Daichi approached y/n and pulled her into a tight embrace. 

"I'm sorry baby. I'll be more mindful next time." Daichi apologized as he kissed y/n at the side of her head. 

"I will only forgive you if you accompany me to that new dessert shop." y/n pouted, acting all upset just to make Daichi give in to her request.

"Alright! It's a deal. I got a discount card yesterday from the owner, so you can order as much dessert as you want. " Daichi chuckled knowing full well that y/n's pout just now was a trap to make him agree. 

"Yaaaay! My Daichi is the best!" y/n is happy to finally have the chance to talk to Daichi about what's been bothering him.

The owner immediately recognized Daichi when they got to the shop. They exchanged greetings and a staff was specifically assigned to lead them to a special booth. While y/n was looking through the menu, Daichi took out his wallet to look for the discount card but it wasn't there. 

"Strange, I remember putting the card in here." he whispered.

"What is it Daichi?" y/n asked.

"I think I left the discount card on my table at home. I'm going back to get it, you stay here and wait for me." Daichi was about to stand up when y/n stopped him.

"It's okay! I'll go back and get it. I noticed how stressed you've been lately, it's probably because of school right? It must be tough being a senior and all. So I want to at least help you by doing these little things. You can save your energy and wait here instead." Y/n stood up.

"Then I'll have to entrust you with this task." Daichi gave y/n a teasing smile. He found it sweet that y/n noticed the change in his mood recently, but at the same time he also felt guilty for not telling her the real reason.

When y/n got to Daichi's room, she immediately spotted the discount card and put it in her pocket. She was about to turn around when she noticed the scrapbook on Daichi's table. 

"This was what Daichi was trying to hide from me earlier." y/n thought to herself.

Y/n smiled as she saw her name and Daichi's name written on the cover of the scrapbook. She traced their names with her fingers. "You didn't have to hide this from me Daichi. I never thought that you could be this sweet." Y/n chuckled.

She knew that she wasn't really supposed to open it, but it has her name on it, so she decided that it would be okay if she just took a little peak. Y/n felt incredibly happy and touched as she opened the scrapbook. But the smile on her face disappeared when she saw the pictures on the scrapbook.

There's a girl with Daichi in the pictures. The girl looks like y/n, but it wasn't her. Y/n continued to turn the pages one after another. And each time she turned a page, her heart feels heavier and heavier. The look of melancholy in Daichi's face while looking at the scrapbook when she entered the room a while ago popped into her head. At this time, y/n couldn't describe the pain she's feeling anymore.

The scrapbook contained memories of Daichi with another girl. A record of their first date, first dance, first kiss, first 'I love you' and many more other firsts. Y/n also noticed how most of the pictures were taken at her favorite restaurant. Her hands got colder. She felt even worse when a realization hit her. During their entire relationship, Daichi has never brought y/n to her favorite restaurant. She never understood why, y/n just thought that Daichi hated it there. Well now she knows why.

At the end of the scrapbook, the girl's full name was written there. Y/n tried searching for the girl on social media, and there she found more pictures of the girl and Daichi together. But she found it strange that the girl's last post was still 5 years ago. 

"So he met her way before he even met me. Is she an ex that Daichi hasn't gotten over with?" y/n asked aloud.

Y/n was scared to find out the truth, but she needed it. So she called Daichi's best friend. She could hear her own heart beating fast and beating loudly as she waited for Sugawara to answer the phone.

"Hello? Y/n? Why are you calling me?" Sugawara was a little surprised that y/n called him.

"Sugawara-san. Can I ask you something?" y/n said nervously. 

"Of course! You can ask me anything. What is it?" 

"Sugawara-san. Do you know who *your first name* Takahashi is?" Sugawara felt like a bottle of cold water was poured on him when he heard y/n's question. He didn't know what to tell y/n.

"Sugawara-san. Please tell me. Is she an ex that Daichi is still in love with?" y/n's voice was already shaking at this point.

"Y/n-chan. Tha- that's- it's a yes but also a no." Sugawara breathed out.

"What do you mean?" y/n got even more nervous now.

"Y/n Takahashi is Daichi's first love. She was stabbed to death by a robber and died 5 years ago." Sugawara said in a soft voice. He really didn't want to be the one to tell y/n, but he didn't want to lie to her too. 

Y/n only stood there with the phone against her ear. She was rendered speechless by the piece of information that she has just learned. She thought that the pain she was feeling couldn't get anymore worse. But right now, she feels like her heart's being continuously stabbed and being ripped apart.

"Thank you for being honest Sugawara-san." with that, y/n ended the call.

Y/n is confused and hurting right now. She didn't know what to do. It should've lessen her worries knowing that the girl is not there anymore, but that wasn't the case. Knowing that the girl is not here anymore and Daichi is still constantly thinking about her brings y/n on another level of pain. A lot of things were running through her mind right now but what has gotten her frightened the most was the question 'how does she compete with someone who's already dead?'

Y/n's tears started to fall. She wanted the pain to stop. She wanted to be numb. She wanted to forget. Being in Daichi's room suddenly made her feel suffocated so she ran out of their house and went straight to a bar to drink. 

Meanwhile at the dessert shop, Daichi is still waiting for y/n. It was getting dark and she's still not back. Daichi was starting to get worried so he left the shop and went home to look for y/n. 

Daichi went straight to his room to look for y/n. He checked where he left the discount card and it wasn't there anymore. So it means that y/n has already been there. He was about to go back to the shop when he saw that the scrapbook was left open. Seeing this, Daichi got nervous all of a sudden. He was sure that he closed it before he left with y/n. Something felt wrong about all this.

Daichi was still in deep thought when his phone rang.

"Daichi! How did it go?" Sugawara asked nervously.

"How did what go?" 

"Y/n! How did she take it?" Sugawara urged.

"What do you mean? Do you know where y/n is? She was supposed to go back for me so I waited for her but she never came. I'm trying to look for her now." panic can clearly be heard from Daichi's voice.

"Oh no. Dude! I'm so sorry. I thought you were still talking so I didn't call right away." Sugawara was also getting worried now.

"What is it? Koushi, stop making me nervous. Just tell me what you know." Daichi demanded.

"Y/n asked me who Takahashi is." Daichi was stunned. The bad feeling he had when he saw the scrapbook open, came true.

"Sh*t! I need to go look for y/n now. Can you help me look for her Koushi?" 

"Yes. I'm on my way out now. I'll call you when I see her." Sugawara felt somewhat responsible so he agreed to help without even giving it a second thought. 

"Thanks, man." Daichi dropped the call after thanking Sugawara. 

"Where are you y/n? Please be okay." Daichi pleaded silently on his heart.

*at a random bar*

Y/n has already had too much to drink. She's been talking to the female bartender all night, telling her everything she feels. Good thing the female bartender was kind enough to actually listen to y/n rant away.

"Am I being overly dramatic? I mean, she's already dead right? I shouldn't give Daichi a hard time just because he loves her. It's not like she's coming back from the dead right?" Y/n slurred as she tried to convince herself not to think too much about it. But every time she remembers how somber Daichi looked, her heart feels like it's being squeezed. She couldn't help but feel jealous, because it feels as though Daichi gives more importance to the dead girlfriend than her. 

"Oh sweety, no one can blame you. Women have their intuition, if you're feeling like this, there must really be something. I think it's best if you talk to him." the bartender advised her.

"But I'm scared. What if all my assumptions are true? What would I do then?" Y/n whispered with tears in her eyes. 

"You'll figure it out. Anyway, I'm here every night, I can drink with you if you want me to."

"Thank you. I'm sorry for forcing you to listen to me." y/n was about to stand up to hug the bartender but she got dizzy and stumbled. If it weren't for the person who caught her by the waist, her face would've met the floor already.

"Thenksh." Y/n slurred.

"You'r drunk y/n. Let's go home." the voice said.

Y/n was stunned when she heard the familiar voice. She whipped her head back so fast that it made her dizzy and she had to close her eyes. She felt the room spin and was about to fall again when the man beside her hugged her in place. 

The man's scent registered in y/n's mind. It was Daichi. Y/n quickly pushed him away when she realized who he was.

"What are you doing here? Get off of me." Y/n said angrily at her boyfriend.

"You've drank too much y/n. I'm taking you home." Daichi was hurt when y/n pushed him away. He felt like she didn't want him anymore. 

Daichi dragged y/n out of the bar as she kept struggling to get out of his grip. In the end, y/n gave up and just followed Daichi quietly. Daichi held her hands tight as they walked home quietly. The both of them kept their mouth shut. No one dared to speak. They were in the middle of the park by the fountain when y/n suddenly spoke.

"Let's break up." It was barely a whisper, but Daichi heard it. A chill ran down his spine. A thousand needles poking at his heart. He stopped walking and faced y/n.

"What?" Daichi couldn't believe what he was hearing or rather, he didn't want to believe it. But as he looked at her, with her face flushed and red from drinking and crying, his heart went out to her. 

"I can't do this anymore Daichi. I- I can't.." y/n whispered as her tears fell.

"Wh-what do you mean?" Daichi's voice is shaking. 

"I saw the scrapbook on your desk." Daichi knew about this. He thought they're just going to have a fight over this, but he didn't expect y/n to break up with him. 

"Do you know what it's like to compete with a dead person?" y/n said quietly.

"It's only been a few hours since I found out about her... but it's agonizing. I can't help but think that I'm being compared to her every single moment I spend with you. 

"It's not as simple as having to deal with an ex, because you LOVED this person, and you STILL do. If she was still here, you and I wouldn't even happen." 

Daichi wasn't able to respond. Deep inside, he knew that y/n was right. They wouldn't be together right now if y/n Takahashi was still alive. His grip on y/n's hand loosened and he could only look down at his feet.

"Thinking back to all the times we've spent together, I would often catch you looking somber. No matter what occasion it was, there were glimpses of you being sad, but you quickly mask it away when I come.

"I never really thought too much about it. But now I finally know why. You were thinking about her during those times, weren't you. You were with me, but you were thinking about her." y/n's heart ached as she voiced out this truth. 

"Y/n-" Daichi tried to move closer to y/n.

"No! Stop right there Daichi." y/n moved a bit further away from her boyfriend.

"The first thing that comes to mind when I wake up every morning is you. I used to be confident that I was the one you first thought of too. But now, I'm not so sure anymore. Because the first thing that you think about in the morning, is probably about how she's not here in this world anymore.

"Every time we wait for the first snow of the year together, and the first snowflake touches my face, I think about how lucky I am to see this with you. But you on the other hand probably thinks how happy she would be to see this with you too.

"When we watch the sunset together, I always compare how beautiful it is to you. It must've reminded you of her smile during that time too.

"I used to feel all warm and fuzzy whenever you call out my name when you're sick. But looking back on it now, you were probably calling out to her, and not me.

"We were together for almost two years, but no matter how much I begged you, even when I was sick and wanted my comfort food so bad, you never bought me food from my favorite restaurant. Turns out, it must've been her favorite too. You couldn't give in to my requests because it hurt you too much to go back to the place where you spent the most time together.

"Realizing all this, hurts so bad Daichi." Y/n could only cry and sob as she let out everything that has been eating her since this afternoon. If it weren't for the alcohol in her system, she wouldn't have had the courage to tell Daichi everything.

"It made me wonder if you just dated me because I looked like her. When you call my name and I come running to you, do you get disappointed that it was me and not her that came? After all, we do have the same name too. " y/n continued.

"Y/n, stop it please." Daichi was suffering inside too. He didn't want to see y/n like this. Especially not because of him.

"Is she the reason why you want to become a police officer? Because you want to catch the person who killed her?" 

Daichi couldn't answer, because he knew the truth would only hurt y/n more. 

"Huh. So you really did build your life for her." y/n forced a chuckle through her tears.

"So what's my role in it? In your life, what's my role in your life?" Daichi still stayed silent, afraid to say something that would make the situation even worse.

"Tell me Daichi, because I feel like I'm only here to fill the hole that she has left in your heart. But I'm not even closely enough am I?"

"No, it's not like that Y/n." Daichi wanted to erase all her doubts, but he didn't know how.

"Then tell me! What am I? A replacement to fill the void?" y/n is now exasperated.

"I want to do something about this Daichi, but I don't know how because the person who I'm losing you to has long been dead." y/n desperately wants to cling on to whatever is left of her relationship with Daichi, but at the same time, she wanted to let go. The pain was too much for her to handle. 

"I don't want to be y/n number 2 Daichi." Y/n said this as if begging Daichi.

"I want to be loved too. I want to be loved the same way you love her! But I don't think I'd still be able to get that from you if she's still there in your heart. I'll forever be an intruder if you don't let her go." y/n knew it was mean of her to ask Daichi this, but she couldn't stop herself now. Everything she says is from the bottom of her heart.

Daichi felt like a punching bag as y/n opened up about how she felt. It hurt him as much as it hurt her, but thinking about living as if he never met y/n Takahashi made him feel even worse. Everything was quiet except for the sound of water coming from the fountain.

"So you're choosing her. Okay." y/n felt like she died a hundred times today, but this one takes the cake. 

"Y/n, you can't just-" Daichi started.

"No, you've made your choice. You have to understand that I can't live behind her shadow forever." y/n knew this was selfish of her, but she's in too much pain right now that she couldn't think rationally.

Y/n turned around and ran away from Daichi. It took Daichi a few moments before he could react properly to everything that just happened, so he hadn't caught up with y/n yet after she ran away. 

Daichi kept calling out to y/n as he ran after her, but she never looked back and only kept on running. When y/n was about to cross the street, they suddenly heard a car honking its horn.

*beeeeeep beep beep beeeeeep*

"Y/n!!!" Daichi called out and ran as fast as he could to get y/n out of the way, but it was already too late, the car had already hit y/n.

Daichi was horrified when he saw y/n's body come into contact with the car. He ran towards her body and dropped to his knees. Y/n was already unconscious when he got there. His hands were shaking as he saw the blood coming out from y/n. The driver of the car went out to check on them and called an ambulance when he saw the situation y/n was in. 

Daichi wanted to hold y/n close, but he resisted the urge. Holding her now would only endanger her life more. So he patiently waited for the ambulance to take her. On their way to the hospital, Daichi called y/n's parents and informed them of the accident.

"Y/n, please be okay. I beg you. Please." Daichi couldn't do anything but pray for y/n right now. He didn't want to loose y/n. He didn't get a chance to explain to her yet. He didn't want to end things with her.

As soon as they got to the hospital, they were separated from each other. Daichi waited outside the operating room crying and praying. 

Y/n's parents and Daichi's parents went straight to the waiting area where Daichi is when they arrived at the hospital. Both moms' heart went out to Daichi when they saw him disheveled. Daichi looked like he was in pain. His hands we're pulling his hair, his eyes red from crying. The parents could see him visibly shake. Mrs. Sawamura ran to his son to comfort him. 

"Oh honey, what happened?" his mom asked.

"This is all my fault mom. She's in there because of me. If only I have been transparent with her from the very beginning, she wouldn't have ran away and get hit by a car." Daichi didn't care anymore that everyone is seeing him cry. He just wants to let everything out. He hugged his mom and cried the entire night.

Two weeks have passed since the accident and y/n hasn't woken up yet. Daichi stayed with her in the hospital for the past two weeks holding her hand. He only ever lets go of her hand when the nurses and doctors come in to check on y/n. After the surgery, the doctor informed them that y/n is already out of danger, but she hit her head pretty hard so she'll probably still be out for a while. 

"Daichi, you should go home and rest a bit first. My daughter is fine now." y/n's mom urged Daichi.

"I'm okay mom. I want to be here when she wakes up."

"Son, we promise to call you when she wakes up. You could go home, get a shower and sleep for a while then comeback here tonight. Okay?" y/n dad said it this time.

Daichi was still reluctant to leave, but he eventually gave in. He didn't want to smell that bad when y/n wakes up. Daichi went home and did what he was told. He was on his way back to the hospital when he decided to make a little detour.

Once he reached the cemetery, he parked his car and walked the familiar path to y/n Takahashi's grave. 

"Hey. Sorry I wasn't able to visit you on your death anniversary. Something came up and y/n needed me." Daichi said as he put down a single flower on y/n Takahashi's grave. 

"She found out about you. I thought I could get away with it without ever telling her about us you know. But I guess it's better that she found out too, I don't want to keep anything from her anymore. I just wish things turned out differently." Daichi started talking to her as if she can hear him.

"When I first met her, I was really shocked by her resemblance to you. Even your name was the same. It freaked me out, but it gave me comfort as well. It was like having you around again.

"But the more we spend time together, the more I realized that you and her are not really the same. You have total opposite characters. She can be cute and sweet but she's more feisty, bold and brave. She likes loud music and going out on trips. She can't stay still in one place for a long time. The only thing that you have in common is your favorite restaurant.

"It was wrong for me to make her avoid the things that reminded me of you. I messed that up, big time. And maybe it was really selfish of me to hide my past from her. It's the reason why she felt so insecure when she found out about you.

"What she said was true. Every time she saw me sad, I was thinking about you. But she has no idea what made me recover from that sadness. Y/n pulled me out of the dark. She saved me from the unending suffering I felt. She gave me a reason to live life again. She made me want to stay by her side, to protect her, to be there for her and to live for her. 

"Whenever I think about you, her smiling face suddenly pops up. Immediately cheering me up. My cold heart suddenly heating up and the warmth slowly spreads until in completely envelopes my heart. 

"I couldn't pinpoint exactly what she did to make me feel that way. That's just how I feel. So I thought maybe you were brought to my life to prepare me for her. You taught me how to love, how to properly treat women, so that when she comes into my life, I wouldn't mess up. 

"I feel guilty saying these to you, I love you and I always will. But these feelings I have for y/n are beyond what I felt for you. I just wish y/n will give me another chance. I will push away her doubts, make her see how much she means to me.

"I already knew how I feel way before she even brought this up. I only stalled time telling her about you because I was afraid she will misunderstand it just like how she did. The immense love that I feel for her was only strengthened and was reaffirmed when she had this accident. 

"I wasn't worried of losing another person that I love all over again. But I am just afraid of losing HER. Y/N. Only her."

Daichi was still baring his heart out when he received a call. It was a call from y/n's dad. He picked it up right away.

"Hello? Uncle? Is everything alright with y/n? Is there any problem?" Daichi was nervous. 

"She's already awake, Daichi!" her father exclaimed excitedly.

"Really? I- I- I'm on my way back! Please tell her that I'm on my way back."Daichi was so excited and relieved that y/n is finally awake. He didn't know how y/n will react if she sees him, but what's important now is that she's okay.

"I have to go now. I just received a call ang she's finally awake. Wish me luck!" Daichi left the cemetery and went straight to the hospital.

His heart started to beat faster as he got closer to y/n's room. He didn't know why, but he suddenly felt the same excitement he did the first time he waited for y/n outside their house for their first date. 

Daichi reached her room and slowly opened the door. Y/n was sitting on her bed, chatting with her parents. When she noticed Daichi enter the room, she looked at him curiously.

"Who are you?" y/n asked Daichi. When y/n's parents heard this, they left the room to give the two of them some privacy. 

Daichi did not know how to react to that. Tears started to form in his eyes. 

"Y-Y/n." his voice shook as he approached y/n.

Y/n slowly smiled when Daichi reached her hospital bed.

"I'm just kidding Daichi!" she chuckled. She was supposed to pull a prank on Daichi to get back at him for keeping an important part of him from her. But she couldn't do it. Not after seeing Daichi cry.

"Don't joke about something like that. I was about to pass out!" Daichi felt relieved. He's been on an emotional rollercoaster ride recently. He didn't even know how he survived through it, and here comes y/n pranking him as if nothing happened.

"I'm sorry Daichi. I shouldn't have gotten mad at you for something like that. The love you've shown me should have been enough to assure me. I'm sorry." Y/n gave him a sad smile. 

"No, it was my fault y/n. I should've told you right from the very beginning. I hope you can forgive me. I hope you can give me another chance to prove myself to you." Daichi held y/n's hands.

"You don't have to prove anything to me, Daichi. I love you, and you love me. That's all that matters." Y/n hugged Daichi.

"Will you take me to visit her someday too? I want to meet her. I want to meet the girl who had your heart before me. She must be amazing like me too. I have to let her know that she's left you in good hands."

"Okay, y/n. I'll take you to meet her. But you have to promise me that you will not gang up on me okay? Or else..."

"Or else what?" Y/n asked with a playful glint in her eyes.

"Oh you'll know when the time comes. I'm not lenient on punishments you know." Daichi smirked back.

~ The End ~


End file.
